A Much Needed End To A Date
by KevIsTehAwesomeness
Summary: What if Mary Poppins was a Time Lady? And not just any Time Lady, a certain Time Lady that is married to our beloved Time Lord?


The Doctor and River Song entered the TARDIS as they ended their exclusive wine and dine date at the River Thames in 1819.

"That was some night, Doctor," River said as she hung her coat onto the TARDIS' railings, "Better than our last wine and dine at the Cathedral"

"Well, you do deserve the exquisite once in awhile, River" The Doctor stated, walking up to the controls, straightening his dark bowtie.

"That is quite true" River agreed.

Just then, the TARDIS began shaking and making an ungodly sound. River and The Doctor quickly grabbed hold of something.

"What's happening?! What have you done?!" River asked, glaring at her husband.

"Nothing!" The Doctor shouted, "I haven't touched her!"

"Then where is she taking us?!" River questioned, trying her best to reach the console.

The TARDIS began stabilising as The Doctor and River adjusted themselves upright. River moved to the consoles, hitting a few buttons as a paper materialised in a burst of flames in front of The Doctor. The Doctor eyed it, then eyed his wife at the console. He knew River was a trickster, but he knew she cared for him alot, so she wouldn't harm him unless forced. He bent down and picked up the paper, giving it a read. His mouth gaped open in shock.

"Is this some kind of joke?!" The Doctor asked her.

"What?" River asked, turning to face him before she tapped the TARDIS' screen.

"This note," The Doctor said, waving the paper around, "Are you trying to be funny? Because, let's face it, River, you're not"

"What are you talking about?" River asked in confusion.

The Doctor stood upright, adusting his coat and bowtie and began singing, reading from the note.

"If you want this choice position

Have a cheery disposition

Rosy cheeks, no warts

Play games, all sorts

You must be kind, you must be witty

Very sweet and fairly pretty

Take us on outings, give us treats

Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel

Never give us Castor oil or gruel

Love us as a son and daughter

And never smell of barley water

If you won't scold and dominate us

We will never give you cause to hate us

We won't hide your spectacles, so you can't see

Put toads in your bed or pepper in your tea

Hurry nanny, many thanks

Sincerely, Jane and Michael Banks"

River raised her eyebrows in surprise and rushed over to the TARDIS' screen, tapping it a few times.

"What are you doing?! Aren't you going to explain yourself?!" The Doctor asked, huffing up to River.

"I have nothing to explain. Do you know where she brought us?" River retaliated.

"Where?!" The Doctor asked.

"London, 1910.." River began then gasped.

"What is it, what's wrong?" The Doctor asked.

"The exact same date Mary Poppins visited the Banks'" She replied.

The Doctor let out a chuckle, as he leant on the railings, "Did you say Mary Poppins?!"

"Yes, I did," River answered, heading to the doors and taking a peek outside at the sky, "I don't see her"

"Of course you don't see her!" The Doctor said, throwing his hands in the air as River returned to him, "She's not real! She's a fairytale!"

"So was the Pandorica, and that was real" River pointed out.

"Fair point. Okay, so let's just say for fun sake, Mary Poppins is real, why did the TARDIS bring us here and give us the children's ad?" The Doctor asked.

"I'm not sure...," River began, "Maybe we have something to do with it"

"How could we have anything to do with the story of Mary Poppins?!" The Doctor asked, throwing his hands in the air yet again.

"Maybe WE are Mary Poppins" River said, trying to put the pieces together.

"Us?" The Doctor asked, folding his arms crossly.

River looked at The Doctor and tilted her head, "Well, one of us"

"Right. Me, I'm The Doctor, I'm the Healer, the Caretaker," He said as his body started tilting forward, then whispering, "The nanny"

"I was talking about me, sweetie," River said, with a giggle, "Let's face it, you're no Mary Poppins"

"And you are?!" The Doctor retaliated, arms crossed.

"I can be" River said as she skipped up the steps of the TARDIS.

As The Doctor started moving his body forward again, he heard River call out to him.

"Besides, I put the toughest superglue in the universe on the TARDIS' railings" came the cheekiness of River's voice.

The Doctor began to move off the railings. But he couldn't. He pushed and pulled and budged himself but he wouldn't move. He was truly stuck. That wife of his was really a piece of work. Moments later, who should walk downstairs but the nanny herself, Mary Poppins. The Doctor raised his eyebrows.

"Hello, sweetie" Mary said with a smirk.

"How is that possible? It can't be hallucinegenic lipstick, because you'd need to kiss me, and all of the Banks' to make them believe it" The Doctor stated.

"Oh, it is the lipstick," Mary/River replied, "Just a new batch. Better than that last one, wouldn't you say?"

"You may look like her but you could never pull off being her!" The Doctor said as Mary/River headed towards the TARDIS doors.

"Wanna bet?" Mary/River said, giving a smirk at him and then closing the TARDIS doors.

Outside the TARDIS, as soon as she shut the doors, it made a weird grumbling sound. Mary/River spun around to see it had begun shapeshifting. At the end of the process, it shapeshifted down into Mary Poppins' own Carpet Bag.

"RIVER!" Came The Doctor's voice from inside the bag, "What happened out there?!"

"The TARDIS shapeshifted into Mary Poppins' bag" Mary/River said into the bag, "And before you ask, I don't know how. And yes, Doctor, I will find a way to turn it back. After I'm done with the Banks children"

Knowing The Doctor too well, she just knew he was muttering, "I hate you" under his breath, so she replied with a simple, "No, you don't" into the bag. As she began walking down the street, the wind almost blew her hat off. She quikly grabbed onto it, then realising how Mary Poppins arrived at the Banks' house, stuck her hands into the TARDIS-bag. Knowing her way around the whole time machine and where The Doctor kept everything of his, she scrummaged around for a few seconds before pulling out his umbrella. She looked at it for a second, then thought "it'll do" and with one pull of a button, lifted off the ground and flew the umbrella two blocks further to the Banks' house.

[SEE: MARY POPPINS MOVIE, WHERE EVENTS HAPPEN AS NORMAL]

As Mary/River flew away from Bert, out of hearing distance, she heard The Doctor's firm, "RIVER!"

"Oh, hush, sweetie" Mary/River said as she landed two blocks down from the Banks' house. She felt the wind, which had changed direction since they arrived, blow her hat away. She dropped the TARDIS-bag and grabbed for it, managing to catch it. Then she heard the grumbling she hadn't heard for ages and quickly spun to watch the bag. The bag was shapeshifting once more. It shapeshifted back into the ever-loved police call box her husband loved so much. With a place of her hat on her head, she smiled and walked towards the TARDIS she knew so well.

Inside the TARDIS, The Doctor was furious at the rumbling that had just happened.

"RIVER!" He yelled, "What happened now?!"

"Relax, sweetie," Mary/River said as she walked through the doors and began walking up the stairs, "Everything's back to normal. Let me freshen up and you can take me back to Stormcage"

"Back to normal?! I'm still stuck to the banister!" The Doctor complained.

"Oh, right, almost forgot," Mary/River said as she ducked around the corner of the room upstairs, clicking her fingers, "There you go"

She disappeared back around the corner.

The Doctor leaned forward then all of a sudden became unstuck from the railing. He looked at the railing then to his hands, then up the stairs. He gave a frown.

"No you don't!" Came Mary/River's voice.


End file.
